Since You've Been Gone
by threesixtyloving
Summary: What really goes down when Damon shows up 3 years later. Slightly AU in which Damon and Enzo fight over Bonnie so this fic will feature both Bonenzo and Bamon! disclaimer: I own nothing (these characters ain't mine and shoutout to kelly clarkson for the title)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: SOOOO… im still working on my other fic but I was just feeling writing something like this! Let me know what you guys think and if you want me to continue this one! This chapter is super short cause im just testing it out so please leave comments and help me figure out where to take this fic if you like it!**

"Damon wasn't my boyfriend… he was…I don't know what he was" Bonnie says looking out the window.

He's been gone for 1095 days.

 _3 years to the day_.

3 years since she left him in that storage unit in New York. 3 years since he decided that having her wasn't enough. It shouldn't have stung so much, she should have seen it coming, it was always Elena and she knew that but some small part of her couldn't help but hope that something had changed. After all they had literally gone to hell and back together.

"that's even worse" Virginia groans. Bonnie had been so caught up in her train of thought she had almost forgotten she wasn't alone. She looked over to Virginia St John shaking her head. If only her actual boyfriend knew what kind of conversations she was having with his very distant cousin.

She was never able to talk about Damon anymore, not with Enzo anyways. He assured her that it didn't bother him but she could see the spark of jealousy in his eyes, the disappointment that came with knowing that Damon still held a spot in her heart, no matter how much she wanted to forget him.

Bonnie had admitted herself to the mental hospital to find out why her blood line was so important to the armoury. She would never admit it to Enzo but being there had actually helped her come to terms with what Damon had done to her and exactly why it had hurt her so much.

….

Enzo couldn't help but listen to Bonnie's conversation with his cousin. He had been craving the sound of her voice for the past couple weeks and when he finally heard it he felt like a fire was ignited inside of him. A fire that was soon extinguished by the name he heard leave her lips. _Damon_. He hated that someone who could so easily hurt Bonnie still had so much control over her.

Enzo was pulled out of his thoughts by Bonnies timid voice saying, "what are you doing here?"

She was afraid that he had heard her conversation with Virginia and didn't want him to read into it.

"Things are bad out there love, you can't hide in here forever" Enzo said, his slight British accent bringing a smile to Bonnies lips.

Bonnie closed the distance between them, walking across the room and throwing her arms around Enzo's neck, bringing him into a passionate kiss. He needed to know that he was the only one she wanted. She didn't want Damon, not like that… _not anymore._

Enzo could hardly control his hands while they roamed Bonnies body, when she kissed him like this it was hard for him to form a coherent thought, all he knew was that he wanted more, more of her, more of this _, more of them_. He knew that telling Bonnie that Damon was back would change everything and he didn't feel ready for that. He also knew that she would find out eventually so he decided it was time to get this over with.

He gently pushed bonnie away from him. As her lips broke contact with his she looked up at him in surprise.

"What's wrong, not into this doctor patient role play?" she asked deviously

"I have to tell you something, and you're not going to like it" … _or maybe you will_ Enzo thought to himself.

Bonnies eyebrows rose as she waved her hand signalling for him to continue

"Damon is back" Enzo said looking down.

"What was that?" Bonnie asked, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, she didn't trust her own ears to convey the truth of what Enzo was saying to her.

"He's back Bonnie… and he wants to see you" Enzo said this time looking her directly in the eye.

Bonnies face went blank as she took a step away from Enzo.

Her mind was racing but one question stood out from all the rest

 _How dare he._


	2. Chapter 2

3 years earlier…

"So… you weren't even going to say goodbye?" Bonnie asks trying to keep her voice from shaking.

"I wrote you a letter" Damon says hesitantly "You should really read it…"

"Fuck your letter Damon and fuck whatever your reason is for leaving me"

"I'm not doing this to hurt you bonnie I'm doing this to save you"

"newsflash Damon I'm perfectly capable of saving myself…I've done it plenty of times before" She says with a sour taste in her mouth.

She isn't wrong. She is always the one saving herself. That's one thing he has always respected about Bonnie. She was never a damsel in distress, not like Elena was. She knew how to take care of herself, her only downfall was loving the wrong people, the people that constantly allowed her to sacrifice her life for their own. He couldn't do that anymore. He couldn't be selfish with Bonnie. She deserved so much more.

"Well you shouldn't have to do it anymore Bonnie! Why don't you get it? As long as I'm around you will always be in the line of fire! So I'm removing myself from the equation!" He shouted, not meaning to lose control, just wanting to make her understand.

A silent tear slid down her cheek. Damon didn't know what kind of reaction he had expected from his outburst, but this definitely wasn't it.

"You're not doing this for me" she whispered, "You're doing this for yourself. You're choosing yourself." Her voice dropped an octave lower as she muttered "You're choosing Elena".

Her words stung. After everything they had been through together, after choosing her countless times how could she possibly believe this was about Elena?

She glanced up at him with fiery eyes, "I've never been enough for you have I?" she demanded "I wasn't in 1994 and I'm not now"

His heart skipped a beat at the mention of their time in the prison world. Memories flying through his mind of bickering and domestic dinners and Bonnie in nothing but skin that seemed to stretch for miles over her petite frame. Eyes rolling and back arching. His name on her lips in a way he'd never heard before.

"Don't say that" Damon said slowly "You know that's not true"

"Really Damon? Cause it sure as hell seems true to me" she looked into his icy eyes searching for some indication that what she was saying was right.

He couldn't help but stare at her small frame as it shook with anger.

"If I mean anything to you, you will stay" she says in a voice so quiet any other person in the room wouldn't have heard her.

Damon paused for a long second, a scene from Shakespeare crossing his mind. Be cruel to be kind he thought to himself. He knew that him leaving would hurt Bonnie but her life would go on. Most importantly she would have a life to live without him around.

He couldn't meet her eyes as he said "Sorry bon, but I can't do it. I can't stay."

He heard a sharp intake of breath as she struggled to keep a sob from escaping her chest. Her eyes no longer looked like a forest fire, they looked cold and hard like a part of her had frozen over after hearing his words.

Bonnie turned on her heel and marched out of the storage unit trying to keep herself together until she was out of earshot. As soon as she got to the side of her car she collapsed onto the ground in tears. Sobs shaking her body as they escaped her lips.

None of this was fair. She was supposed to hate Damon Salvatore. He was never supposed to be able to make her feel like this. This hurt, it was anguish and agony and more painful than any death she had ever experienced. This hurt was different because he chose to leave. He chose to inflict this pain, and in that moment, she decided that she would _never_ forgive him for that.

She had heard plenty of people say it gets worse before it gets better, and it did.

It got can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe worse.

Then it was just the two of them, alone in their cabin in the woods and suddenly it started to get better.

 **AN: Hey guys thanks for the encouraging reviews! I'm thinking of doing frequent short updates instead of long chapters that are further apart but let me know what you guys would prefer! Had to delve into Damon leaving because I feel like TVD writers did a shitty job of showing how much Damon's desiccation crushed bonnie also sorry for any spelling mistakes im posting this kind of drunk… ANYWAYS YA REVIEW AND SHOW UR LOVE AND/OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM**


	3. Chapter 3

2 Years earlier…

She had learned to tune out the parts of him that felt a little too much like Damon.

They shared so many similarities, some days Enzo's presence in and of itself was enough to make her feel nostalgic. _No wonder they had been such good friends_ she thought to herself.

She didn't miss him anymore, at least she didn't want to. When she thought of him now all she could feel was a dull ache in her chest and she was almost certain Enzo was to thank for that. He inspired a change in her, one she never thought possible after _he_ left.

As much as Enzo reminded her of Damon, she knew he was different. He was soft and kind and almost as loyal as she was.

"What's on that pretty little mind of yours love?" Enzo asked, seeing the distant look in her eyes.

When Bonnie got like this he knew where her mind was going. He wasn't jealous of Damon per say, more so angry that he could hurt someone as good as Bonnie. Damon didn't deserve her, hell no one did, but Enzo had decided he would spend the rest of his life trying to be worthy of someone like Bonnie Bennett.

Bonnie snapped herself out of the daze she was in, bringing herself back to her conversation with Enzo.

"I was just thinking about which song I want you to teach me next" she said gesturing towards the guitar in her lap.

"Well I reckon you learn to properly tune that G-string first love" Enzo said with a smirk on his face. _His smirks were never smug like Damon's_ Bonnie thought to herself, in fact they made him look kind of… _hot._

Its not that she hadn't noticed how attractive Enzo was before hand. In fact, when they had spent a good majority of their time flirting at Lily Salvatore's house warming from hell Bonnie had gotten her first good look at Enzo. _And Oh God did that man know how to wear a suit…_

 _But he was in love with someone else_ she thought to herself, _there is always someone else_.

Bonnie and relationships never seemed to work out. First it was Jeremy and his own personal version of "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", Then Damon who had his precious Elena and their "epic love" and now Enzo, who would never see her as anything other than the trusty sidekick, the one who had helped him make the woman he was _actually_ interested in jealous.

"There is nothing wrong with my G-string" Bonnie responded removing herself from her internal pity party

Enzo's eyes flitted towards hers, his smirk growing into a full-blown smile as he let out a chuckle.

Bonnie's cheeks flushed as she realized the double meaning of what she'd just yelled at Enzo.

"I uhhh… c'mon Enzo…" he continued laughing at her growing discomfort, "Oh grow up you know I didn't mean it like that" she stuttered.

Enzo quite enjoyed watching Bonnie squirm. "Well if there was something wrong with your G-string I could always take a look at it… you know to see if I could try to fix it of course"

Bonnie bit her lip at the innuendo, she knew that she should tell him to fuck off but something about the way the word G-string sounded rolling off his tongue was conjuring up some not entirely unwanted mental images for her.

Enzo couldn't take his eyes off Bonnie's bottom lip as it caught between her teeth. He had never noticed how sexy she looked when she did that. He felt the urge to touch her, in anyway she would let him. He leaned forward slowly ready to brush a stray tendril of hair out of her face when suddenly her stare went blank and she lurched off the couch and away from him.

Enzo stood upright and pulled his hand back quickly, trying to brush off the rejection. Bonnie could see the confusion plastered all over his face and she was crushed by a wave of guilt. _He is not Damon, get it through your thick skull bon,_ she scolded herself.

"Sorry, I just…umm" she struggled to finish, she really wasn't sure why she had reacted that way. Maybe it was because Damon had been the last person to look at her with such tender eyes. He was the last person she had let herself feel something for. He let her think she meant something to him and then he left. She remembered the look on his face the day he had walked out and she wondered if he pitied her. She could just imagine what had been running through his mind, _poor little bonnie, always tries so hard but never gets what she wants, forever left behind, always the bridesmaid but never the bride._

Bonnie shook her head trying to rid herself of the recurring thoughts that threatened to consume her.

Enzo took a slow step towards Bonnies small frame.

"I'm not _him_ Bonnie" He said in an even tone gently brushing his thumb against her chin, pulling her face up to look at him.

 _He is not Damon_ bonnie repeated to herself, staring up into his kind hazel eyes.

 **AN: THANK U SO MUCH ALL U REVIEWERS! I kept this chapter short and very bonenzo because I wanted to show that they didn't just jump into a relationship. Bonnie is still v hurt by damon leaving and enzo and damon are very similar (lowkey think bonnie only fell for enzo cause he reminded her of damon atleast in the show but im trying to make it somewhat different in this fic) anyways ya show ur love an leave a review (also let me know if you are digging the flashbacks or if I should keep it in the present?)**


	4. Chapter 4

Present…

Damon stood outside of Bonnies door with a frumpy bouquet of flowers in his hand. He had gone to every florist in the city to try to find her favourite. _Purple Calla_ _Lilies_. Somehow everyone seemed to be fresh out. _Was it a sign?_ He though to himself, _or did bonnie just have very exclusive taste in flowers?_

He still didn't fully understand what Bonnie was doing in a psych ward and the fact that he could hear Enzo's slight accent on the other side of her door only added to his confusion.

Just as he lifted his hand to knock on her door the scent of her blood hit him square in the face. It smelled so rich and… _fresh_. Panic flooded Damon's senses. Was Enzo _hurting_ her?

He skipped knocking and barged into Bonnies room just in time to see her envelope Enzo's lips into a sweet kiss. Damon felt like his insides where on fire. Seeing Bonnie in Enzo's arms was having a strange effect on him. He didn't get jealous. He _couldn't_ be jealous. Not of Bonnie… she was his best friend, that was it.

Just thinking of all of the things he had previously wanted to do to said "best friend" spun his moral compass in a tizzy. A compass he now had no thanks to Bonnie.

The door knob hit the wall with a loud clunk catching both Bonnie and Enzo's attention. Bonnie pulled away from Enzo to see none other than Damon _fucking_ Salvatore standing in her doorway with a pathetic look on his face and even more pathetic bouquet of flowers. _Not even her favourite flowers_ she thought.

She had thought that having to see his face again would bring on a tidal wave of emotion but at the moment she was only feeling one. _Anger_.

Damon looked down seeing a small cut on bonnie finger. It must have been a papercut he was smelling. _Talk about an overreaction_ he scolded himself internally. It was hard for him to look her in the eyes. He could see her forest green orbs filling with tears. She looked ready to cry or maybe to burn him alive it was hard to tell, he was having trouble deciphering her emotions from the look on her face.

She slowly moved past Enzo sauntering in his direction. He had yet to say a single word, it felt like nothing he could say would be good enough for her. He watched Enzo's fingertips brush her hips as she walked by him and Damon did all that he could to not physically cringe at the intimacy of their actions. It was clear they were together, what wasn't clear was _why?_

The closer Bonnie got the more confident her walk became. _It was almost seductive_ Damon thought to himself watching her hips sway back and forth. A memory fleeting through his mind of pale hands on her light brown skin gripping her bare hips so tight he was sure he would leave bruises but he knew she wouldn't mind. _She liked it rough_. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the memory. He wasn't supposed to feel that way about her. It had been 3 years, those feelings should have been out of his system by now.

Once Damon had finally built up the courage to look her in the eyes she gave him a sly smile and all he could manage to stutter was "I…uhhh… I thought _he_ was hurting you". The accusation in his tone sent Bonnies brows flying towards her hairline.

"Oh, you thought _HE_ was hurting me" she manages to sputter, rage crawling up her throat threatening to eat Damon alive.

"See Damon" she said spitting out his name, "you've got it all wrong because Enzo is a good man and I know that HE would never hurt me"

She forces him to break eye contact with her, her glare too strong for even him to handle.

"But I guess that's just the difference between you and him, you're not good Damon, in fact you're nothing…" she says with a shrug.

"You are nothing to me."

Her words are like venom, they threaten to pierce his veins and burn them dry until they are as dull and brittle as his hundred-year-old bones. He had expected mad, or maybe sad but indifference was not something that had ever been in the Bonnie Bennett book of emotions. She had too much passion for indifference. Yet here she was eyes glazed over, staring right through him. _Indifferent._

She struggled to keep a straight face. She couldn't let Damon see her weakness. She couldn't let him know that his proximity was making it hard for her to think straight. That his smell clouded her every sense and that she felt like maybe if he touched her, even for a second she might be able to breath again.

It was all too much, he was too much. She needed space, she needed to distance herself from him. So, she did the only thing she could think to do. She slowly took a step back grabbing the door and slamming it against the frame.

She stood with her forehead pressed against the newly closed door and took a deep breath. She held back her tears. She wouldn't cry over him. Not anymore.

Damon stood with the back of his head pressed against the door that had just been slammed in his face. He let out a long unnecessary breath his eyes watering slightly.

All he could wonder was _, what have I done?_

 **AN: HEY EVERYONE IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE PLS NOBODY SUE ME HAHAHA. First of all I love you all for reviewing it is soooo motivating! Also if you have any suggestions for upcoming chapters or even canon scenes from the show that you want me to fix ( aka add more bamon or make bonenzo bearable) let me know cause id love to do some chapters like that :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

3 years earlier…

In a way, she had always been his.

His enemy.

His witch.

His best friend.

He laughed to himself thinking of all the progress they had made. He had finally broken the stone-cold vampire hating heart of Bonnie Bennett. I mean sure maybe Stefan had made a crack, but Damon was the one who really put in the work.

—

To say they had gotten comfortable with each other was an understatement. Since moving back into her dorm room Damon had become her unofficial roommate.

They ate together, drank together, even slept together sometimes. No, not like that. They just occasionally crashed onto her twin mattress, their limbs intertwined due to a major lack of space. She liked the feeling of his breath on the back of her shoulder when her dorm room began to feel a little too big and a little too empty.

Looking at it from an outsiders perspective knotted her stomach. Something about it looked wrong, it was too… _intimate_.

The truth of the matter was, having Damon around helped. It reminded her that she was still in the land of the living (or unliving in his case). She had not been swept away in her sleep to another prison world. Overnight she had not become the life force holding two worlds together, she wasn't a ghost of herself anymore. She was just Bonnie. A college girl sharing a bed with her best friend.

Her best friend… Damon Salvatore

She shook her head in disbelief. _Who'd of thunk it._

She pulled the towel off her head as she walked back into her room from the bathroom. Letting her curls hang loose over her shoulders, allowing them to drip down the back of her shirt. She kept forgetting how long her hair was now.

She caught Damon's attention as she stepped back into the room, wet curls hanging loose on her shoulders. She was wearing jean shorts that framed her tanned legs and a tank top—with no bra. _Never any bra_. Her free the nipple fad was both a blessing and a curse in his opinion. While he wasn't complaining about the benefits it had on particularly cold days, it kept him distracted on every other day as well. Distracted in a way he knew he shouldn't be by his judgy best friend.

Bonnie stopped just short of her bed noticing his wandering gaze.

"Ahem" she said clearing her throat

Damon's eyes flitted up into her own

"I know you're a happy hippy now, living your best life, back from the dead and all but would it kill you to throw on a bra" Damon sputtered in an attempt to sound fed up with having to see her in such a state.

"I'm not a hippy I'm just doing my best to stay comfortable in MY dorm room. Which, may I remind you is mine and not yours. Oh, and did I mention it belongs to me?" she asks in a bitter voice

"Yeah you may have mentioned it once of twice" Damon replied rolling his eyes at her antics.

"besides if anyone should put on a bra its you, I'm tired of seeing your man boobs out on display like that" she said gesturing towards his undeniably toned chest.

"They're called pecks bonbon, I know the guys you go for usually don't have them so I understand the confusion." He said with a smirk on his face.

She scoffed, turning towards her dresser, and opening her drawer. She slowly picked up a lacy black bra and threw it in his direction.

"If I'm putting one on then so are you" is all she said to him before she turned back around.

Her hands played on the hem of her shirt for a minute before she slowly pulled it up and over her head leaving the expanse of her back out on display.

Something about the lighting in the room made her skin look like it was glowing. She gracefully tossed her shirt onto the top of her dresser as she searched for another bra for herself.

She pulled out a soft purple bra, much less lacy and extravagant than the one Damon was currently holding. _Had she tossed him the most sultry one on purpose? Had she wanted him to see it?_

Damon shook his head. His mind was swimming with thoughts of bonnie —and her skin, and the soft curve of her back and the way her hair continued to drip down her brown skin—the droplets kept getting lost at the waistband of her shorts that were gripping her ass so tightly he was sure if she bent over they would split down the seam.

He continued to watch as bonnie attempted to find the last clasp on her bra. After a few unsuccessful tries Damon got up slowly. He moved towards her at a glacial pace and part of him feared she may get the last clasp before he could get there—to help her of course. That's what friends do… they help each other. _Right?_

She felt his cold hands brush over hers, gently moving them out of the way. She felt him pull on either side of her bra strap and for a moment she thought he was going to take it off completely. Seconds later she heard the snap of the clasps clicking together and she felt a surge of disappointment go through her. _He had only been trying to help._ Her muscles twitched when his hands lingered on her back and he must have noticed because he pulled away almost immediately.

Without thinking she turned around to look at him. His eyes looked glazed and distant and she wondered what he could possibly be thinking.

He blinked a few times and then plastered on his best shit eating grin. He tried to make it look as genuine as possible.

"You know I'm much better at taking those _off_ than putting them on"

He tossed a wink in her direction as he walked past her into the bathroom, "I'm here if you need help with that later lacey" he said, making reference to the black bra still hanging from his hand.

Present….

Bonnie was packing her suitcase angrily. Her and Enzo had decided they would head back out to the cabin. At least that way she would have a slight chance of avoiding anymore Damon drama.

"If I never have to see his smug face again I won't mind" she muttered to herself as she picked up one of her favourite bras.

It was lacy and black and she couldn't help but remember the way it had hung from Damon's hands, like it was his for the taking. _Like she was his for the taking_.

"You don't mean that love" Enzo said, a hint of disappointment in his voice because he knew as well as she did that what he was saying was the truth.

She really _didn't_ mean that.

 **AN: HELLO AGAIN SRRY IM STILL ALIVE I SWEAR. I just finished my summer course so hopefully ill be able to update more often for anyone that is still reading and again shoutout to anyone who has reviewed or faved or any of that wonderful shit you guys are amazing! Also idk if any of you watch the bold type but im hella obsessed and thinking of starting a kadena fic so if you love them as much as me watch out for itttt**


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